i would tell you how
all the petals
look like pink butterflies
and i would despise myself
for stating something
so obviously trite,
but you would not despise me.
Aside from the bat-phobia-induced sleep deprivation, this summer hasn’t sucked too bad.
I’m exhausted. Work has been crazy. And I mean that literally. When you work in the mental health field and you say work is “crazy” it is because people are quite literally struggling with their mental health. Usually summer is a little bit more laid back, but this summer has been pretty intense.
It might be because I’m still adjusting to the new position I took about seven months ago. I’m getting used to a different ebb and flow of clients, a different work culture, and a different schedule. For the most part it has been awesome. For the first time in ages, I wake up excited to go to work. I love my little office, and am continually fascinated and challenged by the folks with whom I sit. I also have some quirky, silly, and extremely intelligent and dedicated colleagues whom I am growing to adore and trust.
So, all in all, it has been pretty good.
Plus no one had to be vaccinated for bat rabies, like last year, so we can consider that a big WIN.
Next week, I am going to take some time off, and I hope to get back to blogging as my Jacky boy goes back to school.
In July I was notified by the amazing robots at WordPress that I’ve been blogging for four years. Dude! FOUR YEARS!!!
One, my poems seem to get more attention and appreciation from the readers out there in the blogosphere. And while I write for myself, I also enjoy the interactive process of blogging.
Two, I have been experimenting with short and sweet poems, like this one. They seem to suit the time I have available for writing these days. I’m finding as my children are a bit older and more active, they require more of my time and attention in different ways. And obviously I feel it is important to be HERE and THERE for my children. I mean, mommy blogging kind of defeats the purpose if you are doing it at the expense of your relationship with your kids.
And third, on the note of mommy blogging. . . I’m feeling less enthralled about blogging about mommy crap. It seems redundant. And it feels like I have to force myself to do it, where as the poetry flows out of me a bit more naturally. My children continue to fascinate me, but I just don’t have the same desire to write about them. Also, as they are getting older, I am feeling a bit more protective of their privacy, and feeling like perhaps I should not be using them as fodder for my material.
I don’t know.
There is a lot going on up in my old noggin.
And I guess that was three reasons and not exactly “a couple.” Apologies.
I mean, I have about 45 topics about which I would like to write at this very moment. But time and energy and other demands are nipping at my psychic space.
It has also been on my mind to try to get some of my previously written posts published online elsewhere. . . that seems like a really big risk, and is somewhat scary. And it also feels like it would be time consuming and anxiety provoking.
When I started blogging I was advised not to wander too far afield from the original content and purpose of my blog.
And now I am feeling like I want to explore. . . I have done that a bit over the past year by experimenting with erotica and fan fiction. I have also written more poetry and have been paying more attention to the urge to write poetry. Like if I start to feel, wow, that would make a good poem, then I sit down and jot it out.
I think that motherhood has so permeated my life, as had aging and growing, that no matter what I write it will still be tinged with maternal thoughts and instincts. . . does that technically still make this a mommy blog, even if it isn’t directly a mommy blog?
When I first started blogging, I also couldn’t understand those met posts in which people blogged about blogging. Well. Here I am.
Anyway, my darling and dedicated readers, if you have any input on what you would like to see on Momaste, I would love to hear from you.
Also, if you have any input on previous posts which with you really resonated that you would like to see published elsewhere, I would also love to know that.
And if these requests are way too demanding or narcissistic, please forgive and disregard.
(I warned you in the title this was a stream of consciousness.)
As always, thanks for reading and commenting and for being generally wonderful and supportive. It has changed my life.