Trying, Trying, Trying To #BeReal


“That I would be good, even if I gained ten pounds.”  —  Alanis Morrissette.

Last night I read a post on Sister Wives Speak that could not have been more timely.

It was about a movement they are trying to start where women post real photos of themselves, unedited, unashamed, to celebrate their own personal beauty.

Whether it is with make up, with natural lighting, with fancy clothes, or in sweats.  Whether it is after the gym, or while feeling sad, or when just sitting around channel surfing.  We have been challenged to #BeReal.

At first I thought, I could NEVER do that!

Firstly because I do not post personal photos of myself or my family on my blog or Twitter (PS, you can find me @Momasteblog  just saying’).

Second, I did not consider posting a “real” photo of myself because I am in, shall we say, a state of lacking confidence at the moment. I’ve gained about 8-10 pounds this summer.

I’m not sure if I am bloated from the heat, if it is the gelato, stress creating belly fat, or my aging metabolism slowing down.  Whatever it is, it sure is making it hard for me to feel good and loving towards myself.  And feeling icky about myself makes me feel like a failure at self acceptance.  And that sense of failure makes me want to go hide and eat more gelato.

Round and round we go.

So, fuck all that. Challenge accepted.

This morning I put on a dress in which I felt beautiful last summer, minus 8-10 pounds. I adore the color and it is super cool and comfortable, but I’ve not been wearing it this summer because it makes me feel exposed and chubby.

I stood in front of my closet, waffling (mmmmmm….  waffles……) about putting it on.

Then I stood in front of the mirror and told myself I would wear this dress and fucking rock the shit out of it.

So here it is.

Here is me being #BeReal.

And YES, those are snotty nose, tongue, finger streaks from my precious daughter on the mirror, who for some reason loves to paint on my full length mirror in her spit.  Could I have wiped them off for you, sure.  But would that have been as “real”?  (Hah!  I’ll take any excuse to get out of cleaning first thing in the morning! Plus they hide my cellulite a little…)

I considered the photo and thought, I should have posed differently or I should have stood at a different angle.  But I did not retake the photo.  It wasn’t even that hard to leave it at the first shot, but it felt amazing!

Off I drove to work feeling like a badass, in the best way you can possibly feel like a badass. Liberated!  Confident!  Rebellious!

I was reminded of the health and strength of my body.  I reminded myself that my body has grown two amazing children from scratch, nourished them of my own miraculous DNA.  My body birthed a nine and a half pound baby in three pushes.  My body is the place where my children feel safest, comforted, content.  They haven’t a clue that I am 8-10 pounds heavier this summer.

It was a pretty cool exercise to #BeReal because it totally shifted my focus from feeling hyper-aware of that 8-10 pounds, to being gently aware of what a Righteous Babe I still am.  And at the end of the day, if I am super focused on a number on a scale, it does not lead to overall health and well-being.

What are your thoughts on the movement?  What do you look like when you are real? 

As an aside, you should check out the Sister Wives (not to be confused with the train wreck poly fam on the TLC reality show). These ladies (and sometimes a gentleman or two) have created an amazing site geared towards helping people process and accept the “Big Uglies” in their lives.  They also were gracious enough to publish a post I produced in January, in which I told for the first time the most difficult story of my life.


19 responses »

  1. You’re lovely, and I am blown away by your enthusiasm for this cause, and I’m so happy and pleased that Hasty’s idea has caught the attention of so many wonderful people like you, all determined to combat the body-negative crapola which abounds. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thanks so much! It is a common theme/struggle in my writing/life. I’m going to enjoy my lunch with gusto today too and not feel guilty about indulging in pizza tonight either!! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

      • TOO RIGHT! You are wonderful because of YOU, and sod however much effect gravity has on your mass – life’s not ABOUT that (though I struggle with it too) and I think so many of us need to try to reset our brains and look around us at the beauty we can see in others, and celebrate it.

  2. Love this! I myself have been learning to let go of trying to be something or someone I will never be. I refuse to let society steal my happy anymore. My whole adult life I have been overweight and honestly, that isn’t going to change because I have many factors that fight against that. (Besides I am a great cook and I love to eat. LOL) But it doesn’t make me a bad person. Rock that dress girl!! Just like I rock my new swimsuits!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. This is wonderful. I’ve been thinking/struggling quite a bit with weight loss this summer after kinda letting it slide for the last couple of years.

    • I’m so glad you read and resonated. Thank you. I hope we all find peace with ourselves and the strength to be badass rebels against stereotypical images of women! Xo

  4. I am not a mother, but my nephew doesn’t care if I’ve gained ten pounds. He loves me for me and just as long as I play with him, that’s all he cares about. Children are our greatest teachers.
    Great post.

  5. Perfect timing! I just finished reading Dr. Linda Bacon’s book “Health At Every Size,” and I’m now enjoying her “Body Respect.” I HIGHLY recommend both! I’m finally accepting my body as it is, in all its glory, and have released the belief that I need to diet. Of course, all of this is a work in progress, but it’s wonderful walking on the path toward body love. Thanks for sharing yours!

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