I’m so mad right now I could punch a kitten. I could scream at the elderly. I could spit. I could go out and get drunk and not come home tonight. I could break all the glass in the house, smash my wedding china, and shatter the windows with my screams.
Or I could make a list of the worst things I can think of and leave it at that.
My Spousal Unit and I do not argue that much. I mean we bicker and banter, but we never really have it out with each other. Most of the time it is just the minutia of the everyday overwhelmed, working parents, etc., etc. Like you forgot to do the cat box, or why didn’t you mail the mortgage payment?
We are both entirely overwhelmed and exhausted. I don’t really know how we are going to keep all this up. So, I will give him that. Plus, he is the sort who avoids confrontation and takes the path of least resistance. Always. Especially when it comes to the children.
i told Emily she could not have her pacifier in the car this morning. She is really too old for pacifier anyway, and we really only allow it at night. The dentist noticed that she has a gap in her bite and of course that means shit tons of money in orthodontics later on.
As my Spouse was scuttling around the house mismanaging his time and stressing about being late, I specifically told him, no bubby in the car for Em.
I know. I know.
I sound like a shrew and a harpy and all of those evil, nasty wifey comparisons.
And if it hadn’t been for the clap of thunder that totally shook the entire house, I would never have known. But I just so happened to look out the window to see if Em and Spouse were in the car okay. There was Em, in her car seat, sucking on her bubby.
I. Saw. Red.
He is constantly undercutting me on shit like this. I think it is one of the reasons that we have such trouble with Jack following rules. I say one thing. He does another. My question for him is “what does this teach the children?”
Answer: It teaches them that what Mama says does not matter. It teaches them that they do not have to respect Mama. It teaches them that they can go to their dad and split us against each other.
That seems abundantly simple and clear to me. I’ve had this discussion with the Spouse about a hundred times, since Jack was a toddler.
I don’t get it.
It hurts me. It hurts me that while we are so freaking busy and overwhelmed we can’t be on the same fucking page about something very basic. It makes me feel unsupported and incredibly sad. It makes me question my entire life and my efficacy as a human because I am a highly sensitive person and little stupid shit like this totally affects my entire fucking day.
Life is fucking hard.
So. I’m pissed. 100% butthurt that I get no back up from the person who is supposed to have my back on our most primative chore– raising the children.
I sent a pissy text to him. I did the crazy thing where I tried to call about 18 times. But he wasn’t answering because he was driving, or because he forgot his phone because he can’t get himself organized.
Ok, that was a low blow. I get it. I know. But it is also true, and like I said. I’m so mad. I am so mad I could make dumb, immature statements about my spouse and vent about him on my blog because talking shit out just seems to get nowhere.
What kinds of differences do you have with your mate? How do you handle them?