“I Will Never Feed You Hotdogs” and Other Broken Vows


Hi Everyone! I’ve decided I’m going to get on the TBT bandwagon and start reblogging a post from the Momaste archives on Thursdays. This one is one of my favorite that I’ve written, and every word still rings true, even two years later. Happy TBT to all of you! xoxo.


Not too long ago, before I had these little monkey-scamp-creatures that we call “children” biting at my ankles, I was a perfect mother.

Stroking my pregnant stomach, I made vows to my fetus:  I will exclusively breast feed you.  I will never give you a pacifier.  I will teach you how to sleep through the night when you are nine weeks old.  I will never let you co-sleep.  I will never raise my voice to you.  I will never let you eat McDonald’s.  I won’t let you watch TV until you are three, and then for only a half hour per day.  I will ensure you get an hour of exercise every day.  I will never swear in front of you.  I will never, ever feed you hotdogs or anything else that is not organic and home made.  

I occasionally think of these idyllic vows, retching a little…

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  1. Pingback: Not Your Average Soccer Mom | momaste

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