We were all running late this morning.  Emily takes forever on the toilet with her number twos, so for that reason, our morning progress got all backed up.

Shitty pun intended.

My husband needed to leave the house with Emily at 7:15.  At 7:17 Emily wanted me to do her hair.  She wanted braids.

For the longest time, my little girl was a baldy.  She finally has a head of hair, although it is very fine and curls into delicious ringlets.  She loves wearing her hair in two braids.  It makes her feel like Anna from Frozen.

I started brushing her hair and caught a glimpse of the clock.  My blood pressure must have risen exponentially and I told Em that I didn’t have time to do braids.  “I’ll put in two pretty blue clips!” I said.

She started to cry.  She was still weeping for her braids when I got in the shower and heard my husband leave with her.

The rest of the morning passed in such a flurry that I forgot about Emily’s hair drama.

I remembered after I’d gotten to work, made my tea, seen my first client of the day and was taking two seconds to empty my bladder.

My.  Heart.  Broke.

We had all gotten to the places we needed to be.  We always do.  I should have taken the two minutes to do her hair the way she wanted.

Why do I get so freaking bent out of shape in the mornings?  I get so stressed.  It feels toxic sometimes.  Part of it seems to be my monthly hormonal fluctuation.  I swear since I turned 40, I only have a few days a month where I feel sane, and the rest of the month feels like raging PMS from the seventh circle of Hell.

I’m trying to be really aware of my moods and how they affect my long-suffering family.  Sometimes it really feels like I am so stressed that my blood is boiling.  I’ve never been a particularly angry person before, so this is new territory for me.  I’ve been doing some yoga stretches, breathing, and trying to accept.

Life is hard sometimes.

Sometimes we don’t get to have braids.

Sometimes we have bad hair days.  Mornings can be stressful.

Being a working mom is hard.

That’s all.


3 responses »

  1. It’s rotten when such a seemingly little thing can create so much distress. I totally get it – especially the part about that intense anger that erupts so easily. Bleh.

  2. Yes, yes, yes! Mornings are so hard. The stress levels can be sky high when it feels like you’ve been late to work all school term. I find myself comparing my situation with others who “appear” to have it so easy. If only I worked 3 days a week, if only I worked from home, if only…. I’m trying hard to see my situation in a different light – to find some acceptance – it’s a work in progress for me… If you have any tips please send them my way! Hugs, Julie

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