Some Days It’s Like My Entire Family Is On Their Period

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Through a delightful haze of sleep, I became vaguely aware my daughter was still asleep, and my son was trundling into our room. My daughter is normally the early bird, so I was pleasantly surprised she was still sleeping.

I heard my son tiptoe over to my husband’s side of the bed and ask him where a specific pair of shorts were. My husband mumbled something incoherent that we can safely assume translated to “I don’t know, check the laundry basket.”

This statement did not meet with my almost-seven-year-old son’s satisfaction. When my husband didn’t answer his second or third requests to find the shorts, a tantrum ensued.

I opened my eyes to see it was 6:20 in the morning.  Yelling, kicking, crying.  All before 7 a.m.  

My toddler stirred in the little crib next to me.

Oh shit, I thought. Is this for real?  This is really how we are starting our Saturday morning?  

Yes.  

We all got up, and after the 25 minute tantrum over the shorts was deescalated, my husband and I coffeed ourselves and fed the kids pancakes.  We watched some cartoons and showered.

The day went on, but we were all out of sync with one another.  My son was snappish and rude. My daughter was fussy.  My husband became briefly histrionic when he was accidentally sprayed with the garden hose by the boy.  I did a lot of heavy sighing.  

We were all weirdly emotional, and not enjoying our weekend time with one another.  At 40, I am experiencing more dramatic hormonal shifts.  Looking at the calendar, I realized I was in the PMS zone.  But what was their excuse?  It was like we were all in “that time of the month.”  

Of course my  mommy-guilt chimed in and made me wonder if I was tainting the rest of my cranky clan with my monthly moodiness.  Well, maybe partly. . .  but I don’t really think that was it.  Maybe it was pent up energy from the tropical storm that kept us all inside the day before.  Maybe Mercury had gone into retrograde, or there was a funky moon-phase.  Whatever it was, I was not enjoying it.   None of us were.  

Some days seem to go with the flow and everyone is happy and getting along.  Other days, someone spying on us would think we were the four most miserable people on the planet.  In general, weekends are tough these days.  We have two children who are at total opposite ends of the spectrum developmentally (they are four and a half years apart), and also have very different personalities and interests.  So, it is difficult to find activities where we can all “play nice in the sandbox.”  

If I was a more creative or energetic mom, I might have organized a family dance jam, or smudged the house with sage and passed around tourmaline and quartz to cleanse the air.  But I was pretty tired from being woken up so early and rudely.  So, I kind of just let it all be.  

Breathing in, I feel frustrated and tired.  

Breathing out I accept how hard and uncomfortable some days can be.  

The day progressed and included more tears, tantrums, and terse words.  We had a chaotic dinner at Panera, and then came home to collapse.  Bedtime went surprisingly easy.  My husband and I met up on the porch and had a glass of wine while watching the swallows diving for mosquitoes in the dusky sky.  

Another day had passed.  

It had not been our finest, but we sipped our drinks and giggled about it anyway in that “alls well that ends well” kind of way.  

Do you ever have days were you are out of sync with your family?  How do you manage them?  Do you have any special tricks for getting everyone happy or back together?  

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15 responses »

    • Today was somewhat better… We went to the beach which was an adventure in patience and crankiness and working as a team in and of itself!! But we are all going to bed pretty relaxed and happy. So that’s good. 🙂

      • Hmmm. . . one of our favorites over here is “In The Night Kitchen” by Maurice Sendak. Do you know it? It is really trippy. I would love to write a review of it for you. What are you thinking of… date, length, etc? Thanks so much for asking!!

      • Great! Whenever you get to it – whatever works for you. I’m just building up a new category, so there’s no time limit. I know other books by Maurice Sendak, but not that one. You should definitely do that – thanks!

  1. I’ve definitely had my out of sync days. And see, I am a planner. And once I get it into my head that I want things to go a certain way, I tend to fall apart if they don’t go that way. But I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes I just need to throw the entire plan out the window and do nothing instead. For instance, on one of my out of sync days, I had grand plans to clean and get shit done, and it just wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I took a bath and watched a movie naked and then spent extra time cooking myself a yummy dinner. Nothing on my list got done that day, but it was ok. The end.

  2. I suppose this is a benefit to having a small family (only 2 members!), as there is less grumpy energy to manage. I definitely do notice we have our “off” days, and seem to feed off each other when it does happen, though.

    PS – Mercury just went direct, and I’ve heard the couple days surrounding it going direct again can be rough…so we’re onto better days soon!

  3. Um yes. I’m sad to say that anytime all four of us are together it’s pretty rough. Someone is gonna be irritable and then we tend to feed off of each other. When it’s just me and the kids, I can usually suck it up and take the high road and not let my bad mood drag us all down, but when Gil is home, he and I seriously feed off of any negativity we sense from each other. Because of this, lately I’ve been working on the weekends and he has full-time parenting duties. In many ways it runs like I’d imagine it might if we were actually separated. We do pick one or two short activities to do as a foursome like dinner or breakfast out, but otherwise we just don’t all hang out at the same time. Sad, I suppose, but it’s better than fighting all weekend.

    • Hmmm. . . I see what you’re saying. . . I guess it is good you guys figured out a way to minimize that energy. When my hubs and I are “off” I can usually sense when it trickles down to the kids here. So, yeah. It’s a thing. I never expected so much divide and conquer in parenting, but I guess that is what happens. Sigh. I guess we are all different people and it takes different techniques to make things “work” in a family, right? Nice to hear from you as usual! Thanks for stopping by and sharing. xo

  4. I am currently up watching Dora with my youngest who woke up screaming at 6:15 am – so yeah, I’ve had those days :). Sorry to hear it ways a rough weekend.

  5. Reblogged this on momaste and commented:

    Momaste, ya’all. I’m reblogging this today because it is exactly how I am feeling, and it seemed silly to write another whole post about it, but ya’ know, sharing is caring. Leave me some love in the comments if you can relate! xoxoxox. . .

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