Advocacy

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It seems like the universe wants me to practice advocating for my son this week. 

It isn’t a role in which I am naturally comfortable.  I’m not confrontational.  It makes me anxious.  I would much rather let things slide and stay neutral, but when you have children, you can’t let things slide. 

It is a really delicate balance, as a mom, between sticking up and being the voice for your kid, and coming across as a lunatic. 

Yesterday I wrote about speaking up on behalf of my son when they changed the schedule at karate to times that would be near-impossible to accomodate in our work/life schedule.  I’ve yet to hear back from the instructor regarding my complaint/plea, but had another situation crop up in the mean time. 

It is a long story which basically ends in Jack feeling demoralized and squashed like a bug for doing something about which he initially felt special and proud with his teacher at school. 

I wrote a long letter to his teacher, and spent the day in an agony of nerves over it.  Knowing Jack’s teacher, I was certain that she would take my thoughtful and well-meaning words as an attack.  She responded by scribbling a note in the margin of his agenda. 

In red pen. 

I’m guessing she felt a little defensive, which was not my intent.  I merely wanted to facilitate a conversation and explain my little son’s side of things.  As carefully as I choose my words, I will not always be able to predict or control how people take them.  But as a mom, I have to put them out there. 

I’m comforted by words smilecalm left in the comments yesterday.  I actually wrote them down on a sticky note and put it up in my office, so I could be reminded of them. 

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19 responses »

  1. Charlotte, that cryptic note has me worried. :/

    I don’t want you doing anything rash like challenging your son’s teacher to a fist fight by the monkey bars. Violence is not going to solve this problem and that’s not a memory Jack needs.

    I’m sure you’ll come to the right decision, as you always do.

    -J

  2. Hey!

    Just checked my “professional” email for the first time and found your note, Charlotte! I wasn’t ignoring you, I just…haven’t received an email before yours, so I hadn’t been checking it. Heh heh.

    Still buds? 😀

    • Aw. We besties. No worries. It takes me months to reply to email, even from family. I get it. 🙂 was just about to set to work on your post but then motherhood got on the way, so I’m outside watching my son do stuff. The Saturday shout out May again become a Sunday shout or even post next week. Ugh. Plus it’s Mother’s Day in the states (do you have this absurd holiday in Canada?) so I’m trying to make a nice event for everyone. Cheers mate!

  3. By the way, did I tell you there’s an Indian woman at the NCMC who’s been working hard to become a Yoga instructor? She smiled and called me over one day and said that she had passed all of her courses and was officially a teacher.

    I smiled back and said, “Yogaste!”

    She was pretty impressed!

    🙂

      • I just sent my Mom an email with the following subject line:

        “Retard Joke / Happy Mothers’ Day!”

        Then I inserted the image of that latest cartoon I did and said, “Hmmmm….I’m wondering if juxtaposing my Mothers’ Day greeting with a joke about a mom with a mentally challenged son was either inappropriate or TOTALLY APPROPRIATE?”

        Heh heh.

        “Oh well!”

        Then I went on to tell her that she was the best. And to await my package full of hand-drawn stuff, little gifts, and writings, which I foolishly mailed on Tuesday.

        But that’s okay…just as she’s experiencing her “come down” after this weekend, it’ll likely show up on Monday afternoon.

        😀

    • Mmmmmm. . . spam. . . goes with my Hawaii fantasy. Thanks.
      PS. sat down earlier to write your post, and had to stop b/c my fingers were bleeding. Not sure how or why, but by the time I had washed up and got a band aide, I had totally forgotten about writing and moved on to grocery shopping. I just logged back in and realized there is still blood on the keyboard. Ahhhh, mommybrain. It makes zombies even dumber.

      • Whoa, must be “that time of the month,” eh? Heh heh. 🙂

        No rush, Charlotte!

        In other news, I’m at a picnic table in a geese and duck laden river inlet by a bike path this sunny May day with a sketchbook, sunglasses, the wind blowing a new haircut about, and…a hamburger.

        I figure all the mothers are currently occupied, so the young ladies that roll past? Well…maybe they won’t even be attuned to my careful calculations? Heh heh. 😛

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