Haters Gonna’ Hate, I Do Suppose


When I get up in the morning, I am usually excited to see if there are any notifications on my blog, since some of my readers live in various time-zones, and read my posts while I am fast asleep.

This morning, I awoke to find a comment wishing me a speedy death from breast cancer in response to a post I’d written a couple months ago.

I try to keep away from extremely controversial topics here at Momaste, because it doesn’t really “fit” with the vibe of my blog and site.  While I’ve made myself very vulnerable, at times, in my writing, I try my hardest not to criticize anyone other than myself.

My intent is certainly never to enrage anyone as I write my truth.

I began blogging because I wanted to create a positive little pocket of support, grace, and encouragement in the universe.  For the most part, my readers have become friends, and have showed deepest lovingkindness and respect while visiting here.  I’ve said before, and I will say again, it never ceases to amaze me how generous and awesome people can be.

That said, I will add that I try really hard not to be judgmental of others, and try really hard to be mindful of when I am being judgey-wudgy because I do not like or enjoy feeling that way.  I find that usually it is because an issue raised is making me insecure, angry, or confused and I don’t like those feelings, as opposed to actually having a bona fide problem with whatever the issue is.

I do not find that judgement, hatred, or cruelty lead to any constructive understanding.

So. . .  following that logic, wishing me breast cancer will not convey anything to me other than ignorance and extremism.  You may find this incredulous, but I don’t take it personally, either.  I read a comment like that for exactly what it is.  If you know me at all, you will know that I am deeply flawed and insecure, however I have been blessed with just enough ego strength and confidence to not be offended.  And you should also know that it does not make me “see your side” of the situation.

I’m going to say this once, and then hopefully will never have to say it again (said in deepest, most grounded “mom voice”):  comments like the one left to me this morning will be immediately deleted, and hereafter will garner no response.

I debated if I was even going to dignify this issue with a response, and then decided I would address it.  Again this is not because I take it personally or fear someone’s wrath, but because I want to keep Momaste a safe and happy environment for my other readers and friends.

We all have different thoughts and opinions.  If I offend you that deeply for my choices, whether they are right or wrong, whether they cause me pain or regret, whether I stand by them with my whole heart, then please go away and do not read my blog.

To the rest of my community here, you guys are total awesome-sauce.  Big love and momaste.


26 responses »

  1. I know just what you are saying. I too try to only be positive about posts and comments. That’s the right thing to do. And the reinforcement I get is amazing to me. There are always going to be people who post comments just for their shock value and that’s all that these comments are. Hurray for your attitude and for the Delete option!

    • Thanks so much Book Club Mom! I appreciate your support and positive outlook. BTW, have you read the Little Stranger by Sarah Waters? I think you might enjoy it. (At least I think that is what it was called…) It takes a while to get started, but then really sucked me in. I read it a few years ago, but it is such a great read… I’m thinking I might pick it up again. If you haven’t read anything by Waters yet, check her out. She writes a lot of historical fiction/mysterious stuff. Have a great day!

  2. Give people a keyboard and a dose of honesty and they can behave in ways they’d never do if they saw you on the street. It reveals much more about their character that they’d like to think. You did a good thing, tackling hate once and once only. Just to let you know, I find your blog interesting and inspirational.

    • Oh girl, that means a ton coming from you, since YOU are interesting and inspiring to me too! I always look forward to your posts and get a little excited when I see a new one in my “Reader”. Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and supporting. I didn’t know if I should address it or not, and I’m not really sure I like the post I wrote, but I’m letting it lie at this point. MOving on. . . ya’ know? Thanks again. You rock! xoxo.

      • I think you rock. Let’s have an admiration festival. Thank YOU! Keep up your great blog and I will keep up mine for people like you (us). X

  3. What a sick, depraved mind that person must have. Who would wish such a thing on a fellow human being? I hope s/he does some serious soul searching to figure out why she is saying such repugnant things to people.

    • Well, yeah. Some people just have no filter. It is a shame because the internet can create such a supportive global community or it can really inflame negativity. Thanks for your support, as always. xoxo.

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