Some Mornings

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Some mornings it just feels wrong to leave the house.

I’m almost always in a crappy mood in the morning, overtired, unmotivated, and roaring like a rhinoceros through the house, trying to ready myself and my children for the day ahead.

Yesterday I took a day off to spend with just Jack, who is on winter vacation this week.  We had a great day together, went to lunch, painted clay at one of those shops where they fire it for you, and finished the day with sledding and cocoa.   I remembered how we used to spend tons of one on one time together before Emily was born.  It was a good day, doing one fun thing after another.  I felt like Supermom, like I really brought it. 

Today I have to go back to work.  I’m just not feeling it.

I cringe as I write, thinking if my clients persisted in this negative thought pattern, I would encourage them to rewrite and rewire.  Sure I’m tired, but today could bring any number of wonderful things!  I’ve made it through challenging days before; I’ll be okay!  Yeah, it helps a bit, but still. . . 

It is no doubt the plight of working mothers everywhere that mornings are difficult at best, sucky at worst. (And if you are one of those moms who have everything super-organized, prepare a hot breakfast for your tranquil family, and get out of the house with perfect hair and a smile on your face, then a.) I didn’t know you existed in reality, and b.) I don’t know what you are doing reading my blog.

Leaving my family feels unnatural, concerning, and contrived on most days. 

Other days, I will admit, it is sweet relief to slip out of the chaos and into my car alone. 

But the relief is short-lived, and I am barely down the street before I start worrying about my husband getting the kids out of the house in one piece, and us all being safe throughout the day as we orbit in our separate spheres. 

Mornings make me anxious and snappy, and I’m sure two cups of strong coffee (OK, sometimes three) do not help.  While I try to set up stuff the night before, there is almost always a curve ball thrown my way to make me late–  the cars are in the wrong order, we are out of bread for making lunches, Jack has a tantrum.  You know the drill.

And then I am kissing them goodbye and see you tonight and be good and have a happy day and mama loves you.  Sometimes they linger in my arms to hug and kiss me back.  Other times their little bodies squirm away from me to tend to the television, or legos and baby dolls.

Walking out of the house, I almost always have that disconcerting I know I’m forgetting something feeling.  I linger at the door before shoving my body out into the world. 

What are your mornings like?  Have you figured out anything that makes them easier or more organic for you and your family?  What is the hardest part of your day?   

15 responses »

  1. Well this morning was one of THOSE mornings… On days when I don’t have to be out of the house by 7, things can actually be more chaotic because I move at leisurely pace, thinking we have all the time in the world. So I was snapping, and growling, and asking for the fourth time to pick up the kiwi off the floor, and put your water bottle in the bag, which was actually interpreted, twice, as throw your water across the room. It goes on and on. So what I learned today is that sometimes a variance from routine can be a bad thing. When I’m up by 6 and mentally prepared for the swift routine, things go smoother. We both know what to expect.

    I’m relatively new to the morning routine (my son used to stay at home with my MIL until a few weeks ago), so I’m sure I still have a lot of learning to do. Oh, and yesterday I learned no peanut butter in the morning, it gets EVERYWHERE.

    • OMG YES!! The water bottle battle, lol!! We have that here too! See that, I thought I was the only one who had the bottle battle, but now there are two of us, so it must be “a thing!” And I agree that varying even a millimeter from routine can royally eff stuff up for certain kids.

  2. The hardest part of my day has always been mornings. Having to repeat the routine, day after day, often makes me think, “Why am I doing this? What is the point?” And that’s hard to tolerate, to push through.

  3. It’s hard to leave when I know my little one has the sniffles. As a first time parent, I worry she will get sick beyond reason. Sometimes, when we have had a rough night – she doesn’t want to bed down, I stay up with her. By the time I do get her to sleep, I am so tired, but cannot fall back to sleep. Then, my morning starts off tired already since I didn’t get in more than 2 hours of rest. I do admire those moms who have their crap together and can look like they walked off the pages of a magazine. I sure wish I knew their secret.

    • Oh yes! I hate leaving when one of my kids are ill. Usually they are with another family member who will take very good care of them, but it does go against every maternal instinct to leave a sick kid. I don’t know the secret either, unless those moms are people who can survive on little sleep and get up super early to work out and do their hair! xoxo.

      • Yeah. Even if I leave my LO w/ my mom I still call all the time throughout day. I even tried to get a short hairstyle hoping that would help getting ready and have not succeeded. Oh well.

  4. My mornings are the worst, as yours. Maybe not the WORST but the roughest part of my day! I thought I was alone in these morning battles. I always get the feeling of forgetting something too. It’s awful. I’m a young mother so by the time I have my first class in the morning I’m tired. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who is almost losing their mind before 10 am! Thank you for this post!

    • Oh, no, you are definitely NOT alone! I used to think I was the only one who had such a hard time in the morning but when I started talking to other people about it, it arose as a very common theme among mothers. Hang in there and thanks so much for stopping by!

  5. Got up this morning and felt like my legs were made of play-dough and my throat felt like I had eaten my pillow while sleeping. (Dreamed of marshmallows) I went to take my shower in hopes to shake it off. Hacked up the pillow and got rid of my sea legs. The whole time in the shower being yelled at because my son found out the dryer ate his favorite shirt. Got some fresh coffee that tasted like it was 7 day old coffee. Packed the youngest his lunch and found out it was pizza day. I ate some toast in hopes to fill a hollow feeling in my belly. Hugged the kids goodbye. Packed up the youngest to go to Play date. I then left for grocery shopping after being dragged around the yard by the dogs. Got in the car to realize that I had left my keys in the house. I sit there and patiently think on how I am going to conquer this new hurdle in my day. I look down and decide that I am going to sit here and drink my bottle of water before I do anything. I need at least 10 minutes to get my head wrapped around these new problems. Sounded good to me. Not wise when you have no keys. Water = Potty

    • Yeah, momma, I feel ya’. I can especially appreciate the self-imposed time out in the car and having to pee because you tried to take care of yourself and hydrate but not having access to a toilet. Yup. Thanks so much for stopping by and resonating here a bit. xox.

  6. I loved this post. Our mornings are not too bad, usually–one kid, I suspect, and the fact that I work from home 4/5 days so I can do drop-off in yoga pants if I like–but of course there are doozies, mostly when L wakes up in a foul, foul mood and poisons the whole house and we’re all furious and crazed. A while back we made an “L has to get dressed before breakfast” rule and, while he kicks and fusses sometimes, it helps. I have to say, when I’m on my game (didn’t go to bed too late), I wake up for ten minutes of yoga and 5-10 of meditation, and then I fly through tea prep/lunch prep like a champ. But that does not happen that reliably these days. Thank you for this great post.

  7. Pingback: Not A Morning Person | momaste

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