Someone once described me as a Waldorf Salad. I’m sort of crunchy, with a lot of different parts. Sweet, salty, and sometimes surprising. You’re never quite sure what you’re going to get in each bite.
It’s not a bad comparison.
I write about a lot of stuff here on Momasteblog. But for everything about which I do write, there are probably 25 other things about which I don’t write.
Things that are too personal.
Too dark and twisty and frightening.
Many times, I publish a post thinking I’ve got it just right, and I’ve figured something out, cemented another facet of my sense of my self, only to realize I haven’t a clue who I am.
Lately, I’ve had this sensation that something bad is going to happen. I wake from freaky dreams, thinking the phone will ring with bad news. I drive to work feeling every car that passes me will inadvertently plow me down. My children appear to be in abject jeopardy. My clients seem unsafe, maybe even dangerous. I hesitate to trust friends for fear they will mock or despise me.
Maybe it is because we switched to daylight savings, and the lack of light is triggering sadness.
Maybe it is because my daughter is about to turn two and I am just not ready.
Maybe it is because we have had The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh on practically non-stop and I’ve begun to hallucinate heffalumps and woozles.
Maybe I’m just tired and overwhelmed with the demands of life.
Or maybe it is just another chapter which I will have to contemplate until it makes sense.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I would like to think I am a bit more consistent than a bite of Waldorf salad that you aren’t sure will be sweet or salty or nutty. But then again, the Waldorf salad is a culinary classic, and everyone seems to enjoy it. It has stood the test of time.
So will I.
And I almost always feel better after blogging.
Have you ever felt like you were in a dark or stormy place? How did you handle it? What things do you hesitate to blog? .