Mama’s Here

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This morning I read a really sweet post over at SmileCalm called 5 powerful mantras of love.  This post lists some of the mantras of Buddhist poet and monk, Thich Nhat Hanh.

Although I’ve not read a ton of his work, I find the words of Thich Nhat Hanh to be so gentle, soothing, and universally true.  Check out SmileCalm’s full post (link above) for all five mantras and a little explanation of each.

The mantra which resonated for me the most today was the first:  “I’m here for you.”

When I read these words this morning, I felt instantly grounded and comforted.

I thought back to a time when Jack was newborn.  Adjusting to life with a baby was a surprising and humbling challenge for me.  My pregnancy with Jack had been a dream, and we were so excited to welcome him into our home.  I was enthralled with the idea of having a son, a beautiful boy-baby, since all the other babies born to siblings on both sides of our families had been female.

When Jack came home to live with us as a part of our family, my dream became a nightmare.  I had postpartum anxiety and depression and rapidly became dangerously sleep-deprived.

Jack was tongue-tied, and we had a lot of trouble initiating breast feeding which devastated me since my expectation was that nursing would be the most natural thing in the world.

The roller coaster of hormones had me in a state where I was convinced I’d ruined my life by having a baby.

Fortunately, I got help and very quickly started to recover.  My baby and I bonded.  I relaxed enough so we could start getting to know one another.

One night, in the very late or very early hours, I heard Jack crying and got up to retrieve him for a feeding.  As I walked up to his crib, I instinctively started to coo at him, as only a mother can, to ease his crying.

“Mama’s here,” I said.

Uttering those two words were so empowering to me.  I scooped him up, held him close and said again, “Mama’s here.”

It was almost like those two words were a magic spell which transformed me.

Since then, I have said those two words hundreds of times to both my son and my daughter.  After they wake from a nightmare.  When they are sick or injured.  When I walk in the door after a long day apart from them.  Sometimes they are said with love and tenderness, sometimes with fatigue, and sometimes with frustration.

They are words I feel blessed and fortunate to be able to say, words that bring grounding and comfort not just to my children, but to me as well.  When frustration threatens to drive me right out of my own skin, those words remind me to be present and powerful.

I was grateful to SmileCalm for this reminder today.  It might have been just what I needed to read.

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10 responses »

  1. It really does work! Hugo woke up shrieking the other night because his arm was asleep/waking up and nothing soothed him until I said “mommy’s here, then he just relaxed and went back to sleep. Mother is one of the most powerful words there is!

    • Yes. Mother is a very powerful word and idea. . . in our cases, fortunately, it is a good one that conjures positive associations for us and for our little ones. For others, not so much. It is great to hear from you! And good luck with the whole back to work thing. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust– it will be a huge process, but I’m sure you will be amazing!

  2. Presence… Yes.

    My little son is about to turn five… and to mark the end of what I feel like has been a giant transition into I brought him to Vietnam for a tour, just us, that has just come to a close. My husband joined us and now we’re all three together again… and now I’m processing the trip just undertaken. I keep returning to the idea that it was like bonding with him all over again, like he was a newborn, and totally dependent… and I could make him smile or cry because of my moods.

  3. Presence… Yes.

    My little son is about to turn five… and to mark the end of what I feel like has been a giant transition into school years I brought him to Vietnam for a tour, just us, that last week came to a close.

    My husband joined us, and now we’re all three together again… And now I’m processing the trip just undertaken. I keep returning to the idea that it was like bonding with him all over again, like he was a newborn, and totally dependent, and I could make him smile or cry because of my moods. And vice versa!

    • Hi! Thank you for stopping by and for leaving some of your thoughts on my post. What an amazing thing it must have been to take your boy on a trip just the two of you… I sometimes wish I could spend more one on one time with my son, but it is so hard to juggle!

      • What I had to do was put aside everything else for a time. No electronic devices on the road. No extra luggage. No phone, or iPod, or anything. Those things were getting in the way, back home, of me appreciating this very special time of transition for us, right before school. Not in a million years did I think I could spend 76 days in a row on the road with him, but I’m so glad I did.

  4. Pingback: Who the Hell am I? | momasteblog

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